Unrelated

I've just been thinking about a few things and wanted to get them down. I only have 2 warnings in my patriarchal blessing, and one is about raising my children so they can conquer Satan. For the past few months, and especially the lat day or two, I've been especially aware of my responsibility to do so, and have been second guessing my ability. Liz will need to be so much stronger than I am. Its likely I'm just being over dramatic about the recent SCOTUS ruling, but I'm feeling increasingly isolated from the world in terms of my beliefs. And things will only be worse for Liz. I know she has the capacity to be better than me, and I know Heavenly Father knows what she needs. I just need to make myself a good enough medium for God to work in so he can help her.

Bottom line here: FHE and scripture study.

getting my motivation back

So, that cold really knocked me for a loop. It was one of the worst I've had in years; I was so tired all the time. This last week has been better, though and I'm trying to regain my stripped motivation.

I have yet to find anything constructive to do in the evenings. But a way to get a new computer has presented itself. Aaron is going back to school, and we are pushing to get everything done so he's ready for fall. Since all his classes will be online, we can use some of his financial aid to buy a new computer. So, we will both be able to benefit.

We have also been getting down to brass tacks about our next child. I'm making an appointment today to have my birth control removed sometime this summer. I doubt I will get pregnant right off the bat, but it may happen and I really dont want to get pregnant at this weight. Giving myself a concrete and impactful deadline for weight loss will hopefully be the motivation i need.

up after crazy week. vent

Up 2 lbs this week. It all started with Memorial Day. I had a hard time turning off the "i can eat anything" switch on Tuesday. Back to normal for a day.Then Thursday i find out that our $100 fix for our broken computer didn't fix anything. The only thing that would make me feel better was a plate of pasta, apparently. Friday was setup for the YW garage sale and i took Liz to the hospital for a high fever. Home at midnight, up at 5 to get donuts and work in the sun all day. Tired and apathetic  until now....that I'm sick with a cold. Just a crappy week overall.


The computer being dead is a bigger problem than i had anticipated. The two things i do at night while Aaron is at work and Liz is asleep are computer based: indexing genealogical records and working on a party supply etsy store. Now both are off the table until we can afford a new computer next year. I hate to complain about free time, but i want to do something constructive, and now I'm floundering. I have some thinking and praying to do.

Down

Down 2 lbs. this week. Today (memorial day) is going to be bad. Food and social situations are a bad mix. On the plus side, I didn't eat those plastic cookies, or their real counterpart, last week :-).

one dozen cookies, please

You know you're in trouble when the sight of your daughter's plastic cookies send you into a ridiculous craving for the real thing.

down

Down 3.5 lbs today. :-) Having a theoretical "end date" for my diet has helped thus far. Its been easier to turn down pasta and home-made cookies when you know its only a matter of 3 weeks before you can eat them again.

Exercise has been nonexistent. I was gone every night last week; a rarity. I feel stupid exercising in front of anyone else at this point, so this week ill take the open evenings to do so.

Ugg. Ive been gaining and loosing the same 3 lbs over and over, so its time for something more drastic:a 30 day challenge. Ill start right after i eat some of Aarons bday cake for breakfast :-). Exercise via the recent post by Alli on Pinterest, food via eat to live, with some mods; ie, lean animal protien. See you next monday.
P.s. potty training sucks, and our computer is broken :-(

Week 2: Post Easter weight-in

Up 6 lbs?! I hope my scale is wrong. I was off the wagon for a few days, but still... I'll hit the bricks extra hard this week. I'm still battling eating at bedtime. I think I'll budget food specifically to eat late and see how it goes. I'll be in the house a lot this week potty-training Liz, and I think that will be a challenge snack-wise. Another goal for this week: more water!! 8 cups a day, at least. I'll measure it out.

Week one: Down 0 lbs?

Ok, so probably not down zero pounds this week. I was afraid to weigh myself just as the week stated, so I'm probably down about 2 lbs. I'm 230 exactly this a.m.

Worst part of the week: getting hungry or "hungry" around bedime.
Best part of the week: Not too many sweets cravings.

Baby is coming, you are getting fat.

We had a good lesson in Sunday School 2 weeks ago, which included a reading of the blessing Emma Smith wrote for herself at Joseph's request (he was in Carthage at the time.) It struck me that all she asked for, I would ask for: a spirit of discernment, wisdom is raising her children, a willingness and ability to act in union with her husband, and "that I may not...abuse my body and cause it to become prematurely old and care-worn."

Oh, dear.

That last one has really stuck with me. I've always been really bad about asking God for help with temporal things. But I need help with this. And I fear my weight will soon be getting in they way of things God would have me do, like having another child. Aside from that there's a list of benefits that I can't ignore:

• New eyeliner and jeans won't take off 30 lbs. I can't look any better than I do now until I loose weight.
• Someone's gotta take Liz in the ocean at playgroup this summer.
• Clothes and shoe shopping would be fun again.
• and more, I'm sure.

So, as baby Jemima Puddle-Duck (my working title for baby girl Cobabe) is coming in August, and as Aaron, Liz and I will all be seeing you around that time, I figured August is a good goal line. Loosing 31 lbs. by the end of August would be about 6 lbs. a month - not too bad. Why 31 lbs.? I want to see a "1" at the beginning of my weight when I step on the scale, and that will get me there. (Yep, you did the math right...oy.)

I'm setting a goal now of blogging every Monday night. Even a line or 2. I'll weigh in on Monday and post weight changes here.

Ok....go!